Seasons Greetings
by speedo fannypacker
Summary: Yusuke, Hiei, Kuwubara, and Kurama celebrate every holiday they can think of with equal fervor.


"So the point of this holiday is to go from door to door and get candy from people, and then become morbidly obese?" Hiei asked.

"Pretty much," Yusuke said with a lisp, his plastic fangs prevented him from talking without spitting all over Hiei.

"You're drooling," Hiei pointed out.

"Shaddup.," Yusuke wiped his mouth, "where's your costume anyways?"

"I don't have one," Hiei shrugged.

"You can't go trick or treating without a costume," Yusuke tossed on his cape because you can't be a good vampire unless you have the cape. If you don't have the cape you pretty much just failed at life.

"Who made up that stupid rule?" Hiei asked.

"You're a loser if you don't," Yusuke said.

"I don't know how Kurama can even stand going out every year dressed up as some idiot," Hiei huffed.

"You wouldn't believe how much Kurama likes it," Yusuke chuckled, "I bet you can't guess what he's going as."

"A fox?" Hiei took a gander at it. Because apparently Hiei is on crack right now and is in the mood for guessing games.

"A pirate," Yusuke stated flatly. "Yeesh Hiei. A fox? How unoriginal."

"A pirate? You're kidding me," Hiei raised and eyebrow. "Do I even want to know what Kuwubara is dressing up as?"

"If you must know, he's going as Harry Potter," Yusuke snorted.

"Harry WHAT?"

"Harry Potter."

"I'll pretend I know who that is," Hiei squinted, "please don't tell me that's him right now."

Low and behold, there stood Kuwubara, decked out with the Harry Potter glasses, scar, and even broom stick.

He looked exactly like him.

Except for not.

"Do you know how stupid you look?" Yusuke asked.

"For your information this is a grade A Harry Potter costume," Kuwubara said proudly.

"Because Harry Potter has orange hair and all?" Yusuke pointed at his hair.

"You know what, shut up," Kuwubara touched his hair subconsciously.

"I'm going to guess that's Shizuru's brown eyeliner you used to draw that scar," Yusuke poked Kuwubara's forehead.

"Don't smudge it!" Kuwubara smacked his hand away.

"So you don't deny it then?" Yusuke purposely smudged some more. But then you have to wonder how Yusuke actually knows about brown eyeliner.

"What are you supposed to be?" Kuwubara glanced at Hiei.

"Nothing, he's going as nothing," Yusuke rolled his eyes.

"Dude. You can't go as nothing, you're a total loser if you go as nothing," Kuwubara scowled at Hiei.

"Told you," Yusuke patted Hiei on the head.

"Sorry I'm late," Kurama waddled up in full pirate attire. Which happened to be incredibly hard to walk in considering the pants were plastic. Seriously now, who buys PLASTIC pants? I don't even know.

"I've lost all respect for you," Hiei frowned at Kurama.

"Get in the holiday spirit!" Kurama jabbed Hiei with his plastic sword. Gee I think Kurama's on a roll with his plastic contraptions.

"What are we planning on doing first?" Kuwubara decided to contribute in on the conversation.

"I was thinking we could go back to my house and just scare the little kids that show up," Yusuke shrugged.

"Sounds good to me," and they all walked off…at the same time!

Into the nonexistent sunset.

"Shhh! Here comes one!" Yusuke flipped the light switch making it pitch black in the apartment he then assumed his position behind the door and quietly unlatched it.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Kurama shouted through the window, taking 10 years off the kid's life. So let's pretend that Kurama is also on crack, or drunk, or something that would make him do something like that.

"BOO!" Kuwubara popped out of the bushes out side, taking an additional 10 years.

"Ahahaha…this is great," Yusuke held up the video camera. Which earned him a pretty hard beating from the kid's mother.

"Ahh…little kids are so hilarious," Kuwubara chuckled.

And so they went on with the whole scaring kids half to death routine for quite a while until Kurama got WAY too into it and started making even weirder noises. This told the other three that they should probably start trick or treating.

"Um…Kurama I think we should leave now," Yusuke tugged on Kurama's arm.

"Oh…alright Yusuke, but I was having so much fun," Kurama whined.

"You're kind of creepy when you get into things," Kuwubara scooted away from him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurama straightened his shirt and his eye patch.

"Can we please just get this over with?" Hiei stalked out the door.

So they proceeded onto the first house.

"Trick or treat!" they all shouted at the same time holding out their bags expectantly.

"Aren't you guys a tad too old to be trick or treating?" the lady asked.

"You're never too old to trick or treat!" Yusuke shouted.

"Right…well here you go," she dropped apples into their bags.

"What? WHAT IS THIS?" Kuwubara shouted.

"Apples! Are you crazy woman! Who gives out apples for Halloween?" Yusuke surveyed his with utter distaste.

This prompted the woman to slam the door in their faces.

"How disappointing," Hiei sighed.

"Onto the next house then," Kurama trudged onwards.

"Trick or treat!" they tried again.

And they were rewarded by toothbrushes.

"What is up with people and giving out healthy things?" Yusuke tossed his toothbrush over his shoulder.

"Yuck," Kurama tossed his floss too.

The next house was just about as worse as getting hygiene products, they didn't even have candy.

"We've been deceived! Deceived I say!" Yusuke shook his fist.

"Okay, if the next house doesn't actually give out candy then I'm going home," Kuwubara scowled at his bag of apples.

'Trick or treat!" they shouted.

An old lady answered the door, "Oh, trick or treaters!"

"Please tell me you have candy here," Hiei demanded.

"Of course of course," the woman nodded, "but I have to know what all of you are first! Let me take a guess."

She took one look at Kuwubara, "You are…some 40 year old man that lives in his mothers basement and sexually harass teenagers," she pointed at his glasses and his cloack," either that or you're some cult leader. "

"I'm Harry Potter!" Kuwubara said indignantly.

"And you…are a pirate!" the lady pointed at Kurama and his plastic pants, "those pants totally give it away."

"And you of course are a vampire," she dropped candy in their bags.

And then it was Hiei's turn.

"You…I can't really figure out what you are…" she trailed off.

"He's…uh…" Yusuke nudged Kurama.

"Teen angst!" Kurama shouted.

"Oh…" the woman looked at them suspiciously and dropped candy in Hiei's bag.

"Hey, why am I the only one that didn't get candy from her?" Kuwubara pouted.

"Because you're a cult leader," Yusuke snickered.

"So? Hiei is apparently teen angst! He shouldn't have gotten candy either," Kuwubara attempted to steal Hiei's bag.

"And why do I have to be teen angst," Hiei resisted the urge to strangle Kurama.

"Don't look at me," Kurama whistled innocently.

"Hey! Look it's a cult leader!" some bystander shouted at Kuwubara.

"I'M **HARRY POTTER!**"


End file.
